SIT DOWN RIGHT NOW.
Oh, you’re already sitting probably.
LEMME TELL YOU ABOUT MY HOMIE GALAVANT. First, thank you, ABC, for putting this show in Once Upon A Time’s time slot. It’s like you thought to yourself, “who would sit down willingly to watch men in tights sing musical-style comedy and then sit down again at the same time next week to watch more of it.” WE WOULD THAT’S WHO. Marketing geniuses.
I’ve been watching this show for a whole 6 minutes and I already have so many things to say.
First, the opening sequence sold me so hard. This old man with missing teeth sings about balls.
“We don’t care about breaking those fourth walls!”
And these jovial children sing about disembowelment.
“I’m seven and I have a sword!”
And this glorious, blatant description of boobies.
“Mommy, what’s a…’cleavage?'”
I can feel the gasps already. But hold on. Not only are they unusually crass for a Sunday night slot on ABC, there’s implied sex. And a lot of it.
So many implied things.
And I was like, “well, this is really interesting, but you don’t have all of my attention yet.”
UNTIL THIS. THIS GUY.
“How did they shoot this scene without bursting in laughter every 2 seconds…”
“Hey, Tim, can you, I don’t know, give me more of a “lust” and less of a “sparkle?””
YA’LL do you understand how much I adore Timothy Omundson. He. Like. If I had an older brother, I would hope it would be this guy.
You may know him from these endearing roles:
He is my celebrity crush. Other people are like, “omg 1direcshun” and “omg shakeeria” and I’m just over here like “I KNOW YOU’RE OLD ENOUGH TO BE MY DAD BUT I LOVE YOU AND YOUR SASSY EYES TIMOTHY OMUNDSON.”
And so we watch on.
“Well, more like he had his servant snatch her…”
(May screenshots frakked up, sorry but I’m too lazy to do those again.) The way they toss words around like it ain’t no thing is my favorite. It’s rare to find a musical like that. I mean, this song is the same kind of thing. I died watching this: CLICK TO WATCH FUNNIEST music video ever. If you’re under 18, though, maybe don’t click that.
AND THEN THIS. OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST. Usually, in the “I’m the villain making the beautiful young woman marry me against her will” cliche, there is some kind of ominous, “you will love me” vibe, but these guys,
THESE GUYS JUST BUST UP THROUGH THAT LIKE, “Nah, we’re gonna have sex tonight.” No, “we will be…as one…” vague implications. They are like, “just write it like that.” And he’s SO ADORABLE delivering those lines. Haaaaaaahahhahaha I’m dying.
“It doesn’t get cuter than this.”
I may or may not update this with comments, but in case you haven’t seen the first bit of this show, the intro sequence is at least worth a giggle.
Who else has watched this masterpiece?
Screenshots from ABC duh