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About three months ago, I was laid off.

It has been a very difficult time, but after this long, I’ve started to fill the void with job hunting by day, and internet browsing by night.

I came across this “dating simulation” game that is frustrating me to no end. Literally, I’ve restarted it almost 6 times due to one character that I could not get high affinity with.

True to myself, I’m writing a lame blog post to the internet about Episode 1: How to Get Castiel to like you.

You are currently living alone (as a teenage girl who has her own apartment, I’m assuming that your parents are either filthy rich but don’t mind you heading off to a public, mixed gender school – or they died, leaving you with millions of dollars and a mentally unstable aunt for a guardian.)

She's gone mental!

Alone in the World

“Thanks, I’d rather pay my rent with my student I.D.”

So, starting out, this matronly looking principal tells you to visit the student council president. This affirms my suspicions that the school is indeed public, as they are handing sensitive, confidential student information directly to another student instead of having an administrative office. Ghet-to.

I chose to “talk to the student body president now.” Choosing this option means that my enrollment form will be in his possession, but because he is a student with no HR Department experience, he will misplace my confidential student information (SSN, Permanent records, vaccination history, all floating around for anyone to look at.) and I’ll have to talk to several characters in order to give him enough time to find it again. I can already tell that I do not want to date him. So unorganized.

Nathaniel, you're not my type.

“Ah, my brain slugs are acting up again.”

I don’t care about how my dialogue choices affect him. I wish there was a “punch this kid for being so messy” option. I would choose it.

Then his clumsy ass tells me to go do more HR work. Good riddance.

Some cray cray tweenagers attack you with a -5 morale. Just ignore them. Every time I’ve encountered them, I’ve just let them think that they are the bee’s knees. Honestly, in about 6 years they will most likely be living on the streets as some pimp’s crack whores, so I really could not care less what they do to me. I have life goals.

"My lipstick came off...off topic, but that guy has a huge red stain on his pants."

“That’s MY corner!”

Instead of dealing with 95% morale, just go into the classroom until you find a cute little girl to be your friend. Her shining friendship rays will give you back the -5 you just lost with the crack whores. No problemo.

My smiles give you five percent.

“5% cash back, guaranteed!”

At some point, you’ll see this guy: Ken. Be super nice to him during the first conversation, as the next time you run into him, you can tell him you’re poor and he’ll give you $15 for your enrollment fees. Yer.

YourEyesAreLikeDiamonds

“ALL HAIL THE HYPNOTOAD”

Once you encounter Castiel in the courtyard, your Adventure of Love journey will begin.

“Hi, I’m new.” (neutral). [Here, you have the option to say "...Hi? (+6)." Although this gives you +6 affinity, it will end your discussion. With the possibility to gain  (+24) in the following dialogue, it's more to your advantage to choose the neutral option.

"So what?" he asks, his arms folded with indifference.

"Are you always this nice? (+6)"

"Especially with new students." his poorly concealed sarcasm leaking through as if it were a hurricane.

"I'm [your character name here], I’ll be back later. I just got here and already they’re pesetering me with all this paperwork. (+6)”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. Good luck with that idiot president.” His arms relax from their defensive position, a slight smirk appears on his face.

“Have a problem with him?”

“Yeah, I’ve never seen anyone so uptight in my life.” His arms are once again crossed and he scowls at the mention of the “idiot president.”

“Yeah, I think you’re right there. (+12)”

“You’d better go and get it done,”he loosens up, laughing slightly at the situation. “Otherwise they’ll never leave you alone.”

Close Discussion.

When you see him again, you are only given the options to ask him questions regarding your paperwork and IDs. Don’t ask him any questions. All questions give a (-4) affinity. Click around until he pops up again, and here are your best answers for Mr. Gloomy Gloom.

Meow

s “I’m sexy and I know it!”

“You again?” He asks with his signature glare. I can tell he doesn’t mind me being in his courtyard, though.

“That t-shirt reminds me of something. (+6)”

“Oh yeah, what does it remind you of? Something you saw in one of your cartoons or something?” He is skeptical about why I’m questioning his t-shirt choice.

“Get out of here, that’s a rock band. (+12)”

“Oh so the little new student knows about the band Winged Skull?” He seems pleased (and a bit surprised) that I know of his favorite band. I’ve successfully caught his eye.

“Yeah, I like rock sometimes. (+12)”

“Cool, I don’t know many girls who listen to them.” He winks and leaves the scene.

Close discussion.

CHOOSE THE GREEN OUTFIT OR YOU WILL NOT GET A DATE WITH CASTIEL!!

After all of this drama, he’ll show up after you finish your enrollment process. Date time! I was super excited because I was under the impression (from the extensive amount of dialogue and running around) that I would be awarded with an interactive date with this hot animated guy.

No.

STILL

“Hair doesn’t normally replace your skull…might want to have that looked at…”

This poorly executed drawing is all I get. Good Lord. Look at that eye. LOOK AT IT. It’s like the artist has never seen another real live human before. LOOK at her head. LOOK at those proportions. They make me want to cry. All of that resetting…All of that agony. For what?

Also, we’ve just found out that Castiel is a stalker. He’s pointing to my apartment.

Oh, God, why ._.

All in all, I might totally keep playing this game. It’s addicting. It’s like being 12 again.

Did ju liek dis?!

Friend me on MCL! http://mycandylove.com/profil/semma

Friend me on Gaia! http://www.gaiaonline.com/profiles/nisrin/36158607/

Friend me on Subeta! http://subeta.net/users/Semma

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